Ward Menu

I'm in charge of my ward directory, affectionately referred to as the menu in most places. Once a ward I was in actually published it as a mock menu, with appetizer people on up to dessert people. Naturally I was the main course. Ok, a main course. They even put pictures of food where photos were missing.

I think to most the directory is a guilty reading pleasure. I've certainly never thrown the directory down when someone came into the room. Guys like it more than girls because it represents a whole lot of free numbers they didn't have to ask for. It's acceptable to ask a girl out from the directory, provided you've talked to her at least once. Hi! It's Davey... Remember you gave me your number when you gave it to the ward clerk? I was wondering if you'd like to go our for some weak sauce Friday?

But that might not happen if your picture is so bad you can see up your nose. Which is why it's so hard for me to hunt these girls down to get their pictures. They don't understand that they're in good hands with me. I take at least 6 shots and have them do things like tousle their hair and give me side winks. They don't really but they do laugh. As a side note I've noticed the keeper is usually the one towards the end when they've loosened up.

I would put up wanted posters but I would need pictures for that. It's kind of weird making people do something they don't want to but there are advantages. I have an excuse to stop and talk to every new girl who comes to visit. "Ok, your papers check out. You look like a nice girl but we've got a couple of wanted girls and we can never be too careful." Today I actually caught one. I expected more of a fight from #3 Ward Most Wanted but she went quietly. She will thank me when she gets to go bowling with Davey.